Herodias harbored a grudge against him (John) and wanted to kill him but was unable to do so. Herod feared John, knowing him to be a righteous and holy man, and kept him in custody…( Mark 6:14-29)
As I ate my breakfast in a fast food resto along Marcos Highway just a few meters after Filinvest Homes, I was greeted by a happy group of parishioners of the St. Therese of the Child Jesus Parish. They had just attended mass and were taking their breakfast as well. I don’t remember how we began talking about mung beans or munggo but it became the thread of a running joke from beginning to end. At one point one of the men in the group complained, “Father, ano ba ang nangyayari sa simbahan natin? Bakit ang mga pari dalawa na lang ang pagpipilian mo, “good” or “gay.?” I was surprised at this question and did not quite know how to initially respond. I answered him in jest as well. “Hindi ko nga alam din kung ano ako, good or gay?” Peals of laughter followed. A little voice in me tells me to speak. How about the composition of our parish communities? Aren’t most of the active members women? Where are the men? The man who asked the question answers, “The men are outside the church waiting for communion. They come in when it is time to eat.”
I realized that this is a good opportunity to speak about an issue that I have been pondering long and hard. The problem is not gender but spirituality. Perhaps there is also a problem of gender as far as paying attention to the specific spiritual needs of men in the church. Is there then attention given to male spirituality? Or is spirituality too generic that men feel left out. Is there something in Catholic spirituality that appeals more to women than men? Or are we speaking here more of religiosity than of spirituality? This of course is another issue. But let us go back to the question of men in the church. In my last two parishes, I organized the Men of the Holy Sacrifice (MHS UP Diliman) and the Men of the Miraculous Medal (M3 in Project 4). It was an initial attempt to address the unique but often neglected question of male spirituality in the Catholic Church. There is no space in today’s blog to discuss male spirituality into any real depth. It is however, just as important to state as a fact the need to address the issue of the lack of attention given to men and create programs that address their needs in the area of male spirituality.
Going back to priests as either “good” or “gay.” My response to this question of my new male friend from the Parish of St. Therese of the Child Jesus was this: the question shouldn’t be good or gay. More important than the question of gender is the question of spirituality. We should ask whether a priest leads or inspires his parishioners to develop their spirituality or not. There are very macho priests who do not have spirituality and therefore do not lead or inspire their parishioners towards this direction. There are however, priests who are effeminate or even with strong homosexual tendencies who lead and inspire their parishioners towards spirituality and a life of service to others. Spirituality is a more fundamental need than gender, yet gender sensitivity and awareness are equally important needs in the church as well.
A male Christian whether he is lay or ordained is called to develop a clear and dynamic spirituality. He is also called to be honest about his sexuality which is an integral part of his humanity and embraces his gender as well. We have to humbly and honestly face the following challenge: of a church with too many machos who are not real men and too many men who are not Christians; of good men who are gay and straight men who are not good. I will have to visit my newfound friends in their parish to further reflect, discuss and pray over this challenge. To the parishioners of St. Therese of the Child Jesus, thank you for the question. Thank you for the laughter. Thank you for the mung beans.
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